Let’s Rip Some Velocity! Shift Into Turbo!

Desert Thunder ready to rumble.

Wind Chaser ready to howl.

Dune Star’s gonna shine.

Red Lightning ready to bolt.

OH. MAN.

It was one of those nights where I didn’t feel like going out but had nothing to do. Then, genius struck like a bolt of red lightning. I decided to sit down and watch one of my favorite movies as a kid:

Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie. 

I could not have made a better call. This 1997 action adventure is full of action, adventure, and even some kickin’ comedy. Not a whole lot of it makes sense, and when I tell you that it’s an hour and 40 minutes long but the original running time was 3 hours you’re gonna be like “whaaaat”. But if you can hold on tight for this review, you’re definitely gonna want to watch it.

For those less familiar with Power Rangers canon:

Turbo serves as a transition into the 5th season of Power Rangers, moving from the original Mighty Morphin’ Rangers, to the Alien Rangers, to Power Rangers Zeo, and now to Power Rangers Turbo, and as a way to introduce some new Rangers to the group. If you think that’s complicated, it’s not. I don’t even have time to bring up all the other types of Rangers that follow, like Power Rangers in Space and Power Rangers Lost Galaxy and Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue and Power Rangers Time Force and Power Rangers Wild Force and Power Rangers Ninja Storm and Power Rangers Dino Thunder and Power Rangers S.P.D. and Power Rangers Mystic Force and Power Rangers Operation Overdrive and Power Rangers Jungle Fury and Power Rangers RPM and Power Rangers Samurai and Power Rangers Megaforce.

Alright so let’s discuss what happens. Oh man am I pumped.

There’s this little goofy wizard on a distant planet. His name is Larigot, which is pronounced like Home Depot, and he’s basically 1 part troll doll, 1 part Ewok. He doesn’t talk really, but goes “oeeheorrheherhh!” a lot. He’s got to escape from an evil pirate queen named Divatox, who wears a very suggestive outfit that I clearly did not understand as a little bitty boy. To escape, Larigot heads to earth and lands in a tree and meets a bunch of chimps that love him to death but that’s not important. Here comes Divatox to planet earth! 

Then there’s the Rangers! You were like, hey, where are the Power Rangers? I’m telling you, they’re right here! They’re all training for a super big important karate tournament coming up. You got Tommy (red now, was white and green and black) Rocky (who’s also a red ranger? He never morphs, so I guess they just didn’t have to explain it), Adam (green), Katherine (pink), and Tanya (yellow). Dope names right? I always wanted to be called Rocky when I was little.

Side note: The Black Ranger is no longer played by an African American actor and the Yellow Ranger is no longer played by an asian actor so the series is no longer weirdly racist. The pink ranger is still a ditzy blonde character though, so maybe they fix that in later seasons.

Oh and only the bros do the karate? The girls are on some camping trip with little kids, including a particular little boy named Justin. Justin is Rocky’s biggest fan. Rocky makes a big dumb move and hurts himself in practice and Justin is so sad! He visits him in the hospital and hides under the bed when the Rangers comes in. He hears them talking about being Rangers, and that’s sort of how that plot line gets going.

I really have to discuss how great the non-stop action is in this movie. Everything that happens is just nuts. Tommy and Katherine turn into sparkles and warp to Africa to find Larigot now that they know he’s on earth. They take these super cool backpacks that do a whole bunch of things, like you can press a big red button and the tiniest of water bottles pops right out. Also, if you press that same button later on in the movie, the backpack becomes a flotation device! The jungle is scary too, so they morph into Powe—NOPE! Tommy just straight wrestles a snake. When Kimberly jumps off a cliff and hurts her leg really bad, instead of turning back into pixie dust and instantly traveling wherever they want, Tommy and Katherine hobble through the jungle super slow.

I need to stay close to the plotline to make sure I touch on all the awesome things in this movie so right about now… Oh that’s right. Tommy finds Larigot, says “thank you” out loud to a group of babbling monkeys and then warps back to Ranger base.

Divatox has a frog tongue. I forgot to mention that. But I mean whatever, she’s pretty hot.

I’m a about to really throw you for a loop—guess what? Jason and Kimberly return! Yes, the original Red and Pink Rangers that everyone knows and loves! They are mysteriously kidnapped and taken to Divatox’s spaceship-turned-submarine, but don’t worry they’ll be okay.

When Larigot just does something inexplicable and turns himself over to Divatox, the Rangers really get what’s going on and start taking things seriously. Time to get in the TURBO ZORDS.

What’s a Turbo Zord? It’s an incredibly cool car customized for each Ranger that drives really fast across a random desert and that’s it! That’s all that happens with the cars! They’re so cool. I guess they serve the purpose of driving the Rangers to an old pirate ship that they steer directly through the Bermuda Triangle. I’m not even going to explain this part I’m just going to let you wonder how that could possibly be included in this movie.

Remember little Justin who figured out who the Rangers were? He gets turned into the Blue Ranger and catches up with the rest of the gang. When he morphs, he grows 2 feet, because they need to use a normal sized human actor for the Ranger combat scenes. Don’t question it.

So they really get down to business and catch up to Divatox on this big island, where she is attempting to bring this fiery demon out of a volcano to marry. (I really didn’t realize how crazy most of this would sound but I need another thousand words to fully help you understand). I can’t reveal anymore of the plot because I know you’re going to watch this and you don’t want spoilers, so here are a few other notes I thought were important:

– There’s a really beautiful blend of science and magic happening in this movie. It really makes you think.

– Fantastic cameo by Rita Repulsa. So glad she could make it into the movie!

– Jason gets turned evil and apparently voices some insecurities towards Tommy, and makes everyone uncomfortable when he shouts “NOW I’M THE ONE WITH THE MUSCLES AND THE POWER!” Tommy acts like a true friend and responds with, “That’s right Jase! But you’re not using your brain power!”

– If you shout nonsense words that are kind of synonymous with “speed”, you are probably quoting direct lines from this film.

How badly do you want to see this movie now? You probably stopped reading this half way through just go get it. I hope you do. I hope you enjoy it.

Do the Rangers stop a giant volcano monster? Does Divatox find true love? What happens to Jason and Kimberly? Who will win the karate tournament, and why do Divatox’s minions ride around on jet-skis?

Man I love this movie.

Visuals: 10/10. Off the wall. This is Power Rangers. This series is almost entirely visual. Perfect score.

Cast: 5/10. Strong performances by the original Rangers, but man Larigot is the dumbest thing ever to be considered essential to a plot. He is Turbo’s Jar Jar Binks, and he can’t even talk.

Script: 2/10. What I would give to read the original 3 hour screenplay.

Dopeness: 9/10. You know you wanted to be a Ranger as a kid, and you know you still do now!

Worth it? DUH. Have I ever lied to you?

Top 10 Must-Sees of 2012

HEY! YOU! These aren’t reviews, but they’re me saying hey, you need to see these movies. They’re all from last year so I’m pretty positive some copies haven’t been destroyed yet. 

1. Django Unchained 

2. Moonrise Kingdom 

3. Cabin in the Woods 

4. The Avengers 

5. Silver Linings Playbook 

6. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey 

7. The Hunger Games 

8. 21 Jump Street 

9. Project X

10. This one video my friend Travis posted to facebook of us scaring people it’s soooooo funny haha check it out 

Revamping the Blog!

Okay for real, Tumblr sucks. I just started Movies With Mitch on Tumblr because I already had an account from way back when, and figured it would be simple. Turns out it’s terrible to format and pretty restricting, and all that was killin’ my creative vibe. Now that I’m done with the Fall semester, I’m just chilling around and watching TONS of movies. So I’m gonna move MWM over to WordPress, and get back to reviewing! Enjoy the new blog, and enjoy any movie you watch! Suggestions are always welcome!

Sinister is Slick, Sir!

Date night in Fort Collins!

My roommates and I all wrote letters to girls we liked and asked them to go to the spooky midnight premiere of the new horror flick, Sinister. They all said yes! Sinister made me jump and I laughed once and my hands got really sweaty. Real talk though — I’m gonna go ahead and say this movie was pretty good!

Let’s start with discussing the fact that this is a horror movie. We all have to slightly lower standards with stuff like this, because let’s face it, there haven’t been too many movies reaching The Shining levels in awhile. Also, do you like scary movies? If you don’t, and you’re just that negative person who’s like “why would I ever spend money to see that?” I don’t like you and leave me alone. Some people have fun getting spooked! So anyways, certain parts like acting and continuity and stuff just won’t be top notch. Just keep that in mind or don’t, I’m not your boss.

I laughed when a snake popped out. The movie takes place in Pennsylvania and the part that explains why a poisonous snake might be in this dude’s attic doesn’t come ‘til way later, so when I see a red, black, and yellow snake I’m gonna laugh. I also gotta give Sinister a “come on” in regards to the little boy. He’s got really long hair, and I’m 99% positive that this kid got the role because of that reason. I say this because not once but TWICE, he’s used in a scene where someone goes “OH is that the scary monster?!” AHHH-Oh wait it’s the kid.” I got it once, but “come on”, twice? And I mean, the kid was kind of a punk.

In this here 4th paragraph, I’m going to talk about the acting. As previously stated, the bar has to be lowered for a horror flick when it comes to this aspect of a movie. But wait! I don’t even have a lot of bad things to say! I liked the main character, Ellison Oswalt played by Ethan Hawke. Hawke has a face you’d recognize, but he’s not a big time guy. I like when horror films have lesser known actors because it makes more sense that they’d be doing something dumb or in an awful situation. Granted, horror films have lesser known actors often due to their budget, but shut up I’m trying to make my own reason. He did well with what he had in front of him, and was someone you hoped survived the whole ordeal (maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t, maybe he does, maybe). I got a kick out of his alcohol consumption — After Oswalt happens upon some creepy, evil stuff, he grabs a bottle of jack and a rocks glass and sits back down to watch more of the haunted footage. He then continues to down, pour, down, pour. Dude drinks like half a bottle. Then he gets up and explores his creepy new house… How is he not falling over everywhere! He had to have been smashed. Oh well. Even though Hawke did a great job with the lead role and handled an intense amount of screen time very well, the real star is “Deputy So and So”, played by James Ransone. Who is James Ransone? I don’t know, a genius! He’s so good. He provides the only comedic relief, and is a total stand out with such a short amount of lines, and has a great sidekick sort of role. Seriously, you’re gonna love Deputy So and So if you go seeSinister. Just wait. I don’t even wanna tell you too much.

I gotta talk about the scary parts! Ahhhhh! The very sinister figure you’ve been seeing in the promos is a bad being by the name of Bughuul, a.k.a. Mr. Boogie. Oh hey, he’s played by Nicholas King, who was a stunt man in The Babymakers which I’ve already reviewed! Shout out to Olivia Munn. But for real though, Bughuul is the best scary character I’ve seen in such a long time. I don’t even feel like I need to fill you in on his background story, because the creepiness is enough for me to be like yeah, he’s good. What I like about the scary parts in this movie is that yeah, stuff makes you jump, but it’s always something unique. Even when (like every horror film) you’re screaming “turn the lights on you doofus!” you’re still gonna be surprised. Except for that silly snake, there are some really interesting things happening that are gonna make you really think twice about failing to go to the bathroom right before the movie started.

Hey, the soundtrack is crazy awesome, too.

Visuals: 8/10. Definitely creepy! A little tiny deduction for the painfully obvious “dimly lit house” which Hawke seems to get lost in on a nightly basis.

Cast: 6/10. In my terms, this is a compliment for a horror movie. Well done.

Hyphyness: 7/10. Bughuul is so hyphy.

Overall: 8/10. This is STRICTLY in comparison to other scary movies.

Worth it: Yeah! It’s October, get that heart pumping!

“The Babymakers” Also Make Laughs

I have a lot of good things to say about this movie!

To start — excellent job by Jay Chandrasekhar and the rest of Broken Lizard with this production. By no means is this the comedy hit of the summer, however it might be the comedy hit of the fall. There is subtle hilariousness found in the writing underneath the goofy visual gags that you expect from these guys, and excellent performances by the leading actors Paul Schneider and Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn Olivia Munn.

Visuals: 10/10. Olivia Munn looks really good and I love her.

Cast: 8/10. Olivia Munn gets the full points, but like the goofy gross guys take away from her screen time.

Hyphyness: 7/10. Hyphy hyphy hyphy!

Overall: 6.5/10. Is this the best movie? No. Is it funny? For sure!

Worth It: Should you watch this if you’re bored one night? Yeah! Should you watch this if you’re hanging out with the bros and looking for a laugh? Yeah! Should you snuggle up next to your girlfriend and press play? Not if she’s gonna get mad at you literally drooling.

Promethe-ummm… What?

Wow. What a film.

So this got super-hyped when the trailers started showing up, and I was pretty excited for it. Turns out it’s the SEVENTH installment of that silly Alien franchise, and that’s pretty key when it comes to what kind of movie Prometheus really is.

art-prometheus-alien-parasite

I think my favorite part about Prometheus was the viral campaign for David (Michael Fassbender), because that was pretty cool. If you made your eyes go out of focus it kinda made the videos 3D. What! That’s nuts.

But that’s not even in the movie! So I should probably just talk about what happens in the actual 124 minutes worth of film. But what DOES happen? Who knows! I kinda know, because I watched it. So sneaky little David puts a worm in the main scientist dude Charlie’s (Logan Marshall-Green) eye. Why did he do that? That seems really really evil, and I don’t know why that happened. Maybe I never will. Maybe no one will ever know. That kind of bummed me out.

When it comes to plot, the fact that Prometheus is part of the Alien franchise really comes into play. The thing is, I’d never call any of the Alien films a real serious movie. They’re just sci-fi horror goofball movies! So guess what — Prometheus has a real sci-fi horror goofball aspect to it. Here I am hoping to find out where humans came from but nope, better flamethrower this dude, that’s always what makes for a great movie.

Prometheus loses a lot of points because they made a wormy alien and it goes into humans. That’s my biggest fear. No joke. Worms and worms inside people — Nope! No way. Not for me, never.

“Mitch! You can’t just give a movie a bad review because you don’t like worms!” — Your Average Blogger 

Well “average”, I can do whatever I want because this is my blog where I review movies and only I get to go to the page where you can edit the text.

Okay, but for real — If you like stock characters and Charlize Theron being a huge meanie and Michael Fassbender thinking he’s Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, then Prometheus is really for you. Noomi Rapace is pretty solid though. Maybe you should just watch some other good movies she’s in like Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Visuals: 8/10. It looks like a combination of Mass Effect which is an awesome video game, and that blue guy fromWatchmen. Basically it’s why you’d watch this movie.

Cast: 6/10. I mean they’re all pretty famous and Noomi Rapace is cool. Acting is ehhh and no one seems to learn any lessons.

Hyphyness: 5/10. I could get kinda hyphy about this because it looks cool and they wear awesome space suits. I could get way NOT hyphy if I have to see more worms in tummies.

Overall: 6.5/10. There’s no math or averaging for this little part, I just decided that it should get a 6.5.

Worth it: I don’t know, don’t listen to me! I’m not your boss.

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